I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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