wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
