Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
