Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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