The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
