Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
