the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize