I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
