I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
