And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
