we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
