What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
