so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
