i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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