Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
