Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
