I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
