Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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