Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
