I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
