Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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