Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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