she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
