guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize