Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Alive.
So much puke
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
