Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
