Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
