I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
