Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize