Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
