i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
