I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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