Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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