I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
