i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
