yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
