i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
