also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Green mimosas i think yes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
