it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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