the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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