I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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