I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
