Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
