none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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