I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
