Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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