i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
