everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
