Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize