It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize