Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
