my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
