Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
