Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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