So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
