I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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