I wanna bring you to show and tell
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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