Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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